So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sorry about my life...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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