After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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