belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
