I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
