so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
