Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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