Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
