Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
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if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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