I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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