Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
