I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
