hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
