I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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