i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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