How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
