My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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