She's JV to your varsity
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
