ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
