Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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