I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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