we're chasing vodka with high fives
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
