On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
