yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
