I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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