i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
