Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
