is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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