upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
