weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
