11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
