Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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