Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
