I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
