i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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