Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
