You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
