You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs