Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.

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(718): i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined. http://tfl.nu/aopw

Replies (67) Good night (675) Bad night (4500)
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(434): View more from Virginia

question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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(434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41

Replies (44) Good night (1015) Bad night (5614)
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(561): View more from Florida

new revelation: five guys for breakfast

(561): View more from Florida

new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation

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(561): new revelation: five guys for breakfast (561): new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation http://tfl.nu/4ic9

Replies (24) Good night (3544) Bad night (1248)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.

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(973): So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on. http://tfl.nu/d9b8

Replies (9) Good night (1317) Bad night (3768)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?

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(717): Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain? http://tfl.nu/uh45

Replies (6) Good night (2400) Bad night (1257)
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(716): View more from New York

Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.

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(716): Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests. http://tfl.nu/12h2

Replies (11) Good night (2706) Bad night (857)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

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(770): Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well... http://tfl.nu/5d08

Replies (3) Good night (1877) Bad night (538)
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(269): View more from Michigan

It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.

(1-269): View more from Michigan

I just wanted to decorate you...

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(269): It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair. (1-269): I just wanted to decorate you... http://tfl.nu/gax7

Replies (8) Good night (3433) Bad night (694)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.

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(403): oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker. http://tfl.nu/xtlj

Replies (9) Good night (1802) Bad night (956)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?

(941): View more from Florida

I was attacked by whores

(609): View more from New Jersey

You threw up on yourself again didn't you?

(941): View more from Florida

They were strong whores

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(609): How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club? (941): I was attacked by whores (609): You threw up on yourself again didn't you? (941): They were strong whores http://tfl.nu/xoz8

Replies (7) Good night (2015) Bad night (561)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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(208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb

Replies (4) Good night (994) Bad night (372)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.

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(570): After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother. (1-570): Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off. http://tfl.nu/5ewz

Replies (6) Good night (1813) Bad night (412)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!

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(309): Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!! http://tfl.nu/ykbd

Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (193)
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(520): View more from Arizona

He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.

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(520): He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down. http://tfl.nu/0sgk

Replies (3) Good night (360) Bad night (194)
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(616): View more from Michigan

is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?

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(616): is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear? http://tfl.nu/rzm1

Replies (3) Good night (201) Bad night (368)

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