Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone. http://tfl.nu/rlid
  Replies (69) Good night (5039) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup http://tfl.nu/9c9q
  Replies (11) Good night (2245) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk. http://tfl.nu/9kux
  Replies (19) Good night (694) Bad night (2855)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Best friends brother. Beat that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): Best friends brother. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/zx73
  Replies (91) Good night (6311) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion. http://tfl.nu/bsvq
  Replies (15) Good night (5369) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that? http://tfl.nu/r8k1
  Replies (44) Good night (1258) Bad night (8852)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Any little, cute, petite blondes with you? (1-248): Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though. http://tfl.nu/s8t4
  Replies (41) Good night (9383) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine. http://tfl.nu/k1fq
  Replies (45) Good night (1165) Bad night (6900)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car.. http://tfl.nu/4cqo
  Replies (11) Good night (3309) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks http://tfl.nu/p1yw
  Replies (12) Good night (3492) Bad night (1987)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom. http://tfl.nu/s7cn
  Replies (29) Good night (3658) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place http://tfl.nu/v09l
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic. http://tfl.nu/0g5m
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to? http://tfl.nu/t7h6
  Replies (3) Good night (297) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions http://tfl.nu/lzc7
  Replies (1) Good night (179) Bad night (295)

Randomize