you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
