Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This is not my ceiling
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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