i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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