just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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