Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
