Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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