Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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