i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
one might say we're banned from that church
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
