This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
