My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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