well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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