Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
