we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
