I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
