i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize