I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize