I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
