Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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