yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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