Its about making memories worth repressing
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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