so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't think brook has ever known best
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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