Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
