hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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