I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
