Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
