If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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