Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
